What? Are you kidding me?

I had no idea…I didn’t know it! Did you know it? 

 

I had no idea that His love could make me feel so complete that nothing else could matter. Like…nothing…life, school, work, money…nothing.

Maybe you've heard me say that we all have that moment…when we realize that we are nothing without Him. He will lovingly tap us on the shoulder again and again until we turn around and say “Jesus! Were you there this whole time?” (praying He didn’t see some of the things we’d said and done).

He’s patiently tapping us on the shoulder…sometimes if you’re hard-headed, He whacks you over the head with a 2x4….and then there’s those like me…He came in like a wrecking ball. (I won’t sing that for you…)

 

Brothers and Sisters, I never dreamed my children would wear their Dad’s ashes around their necks. I never dreamed I’d carry and miscarry 22 babies in my body. I never dreamed I’d have a “lump of something awesome” growing on my brain…(my list could go on, if I focused on the crazy life I’ve had) but you know…it all boils down to this: I needed some Jesus! Now that doesn’t mean that the hard times won’t come…they will.

Accepting Christ, becoming a Christian, doesn’t come with the free toaster oven…You don’t get a brand new car! Ok so we may still be driving that same old broken down station wagon…bald tires, radio knobs are missing, bent antenna, and spring sticking up outta the seat that pokes you in the behind and makes you talk to Jesus…but let me tell you Sisters…

NOW we’ve got AAA!

So there are days that I may appear to be running in fields of wild flowers, filled with joy and laughter…You may believe that I found it…that I knew it…that one thing that makes nothing else matter. Yep!  I am surrounded with love and laughter...and every day is an adventure. But that’s not always accurate…He’s going to bring me to trials that are going to stretch me in ways that are excruciating…so uncomfortable. But when He stops chiseling away all the ugly things in me, does that mean He sees no more potential in me? Well I say CHISEL AWAY!

What He chiseled me into:

Back in 2008, He’s made me a PWOC sister.

I'm the sister that shows up at birthday parties, celebrates each milestone and cries alongside you with joy. I'm the sister that remembers your anniversary, your birthday, and to just call to say "hello" and "I love you"...l'm the sister that surprises you with an unexpected gift, a word of encouragement, a Scripture that reminds me of you. I will text you words of encouragement, remind you that you're so so loved, and call you up just to hear you giggle. If you ask me, I'll coach you to achieve something, I'll hold you accountable, and I'll remind you where your focus should be when you're having a pity-party. I'll listen, I'll pray, I'll think of you. I'll tell others how awesome you are, so they love you like I do. I'll encourage you to stop focusing on your tiny flaws and see the great person that I see. I'll not just love you, but I'll love your parents, your spouse, your kids, and your crazy relatives too.

I will hold my breath as you open your letter from the university and hold your hand while you get your news from the doctor. I will deliver baked goods, and food, and send flowers to you for goofy reasons. I will send tissues and funny notes to you in another country. I will pay your power bill when you're unable and take you out to lunch when you need a pick-me-up. I'll giggle with you while we get facials and eat ice cream. I'll make you laugh until your stomach hurts and you wet yourself. I'll stand in for every single person in your life, that is missing, that is far away, or has passed on. I'll stand in for anyone who has ever hurt you and I will apologize to you and mean it. I'll cry with you as we explore those open wounds together and I'll help you to forgive them.

He gave me this message to deliver: l love you like no one else has ever loved you and more than anyone on this earth will ever love you again. You will know what it is to value yourself again. You will see yourself through My eyes. You are my beautiful beautiful child. You are royalty, by Blood, and no one and nothing can ever remove you from My hand!

New links!

I've neglected my blog for quite some time to work on a few projects. I did not intend to spread myself thin, but as I researched I witnessed a few main categories become apparent. So I am currently compiling the following:

A 12-week Apologetics study that presents prophecy from several fields of study.
(You can find some of the links on the right)

A marital study for both newlyweds and pre-marital couples.

A 12-week study in Servant Leadership (derived from the research in my dissertation).


(I know that may sound a bit "scatter-brained" of me, however, each piece of literature I come across in my research falls into one of these three studies.)

Francis Chan's Oldest Daughter Brought a Guy Home; He Shares Her 'Weird' Gauge-If a Man's Suitable for Marriage

Francis Chan Says Oldest Daughter Brought a Guy Home; Shares Her 'Weird' Gauge If a Man's Suitable for Marriage

Pastor and Crazy Love author Francis Chan answered the question of what makes a boyfriend ready for marriage on John Piper's Ask Pastor John podcast by recalling a time when his older daughter brought a guy home.

He recounted, "My daughter did bring home a guy a few months ago from college and some of my friends asked her, they said 'hey how serious are you with him' and they told me her answer was so weird. They said her answer was 'I just want to hang out with him long enough to see if God answers his prayers.' That's a weird answer but in her mind that was her gauge."
The California preacher went on to describe how in his home, answered prayer is the measure of strong relationship with God.
"Growing up she would see sometimes God would answer her prayer and I'd point it out to her and I remember times I would sit her and … my second oldest down and I'd go, look you guys you see the way God answers mom and dad's prayers and when it comes time for you to get married, that's why I want you so badly to just be with a guy who loves Jesus because if you don't you're forfeiting all of this."
Now that she is meeting potential suitors, Chan said his daughter is using prayer as an indicator of faith. He said, "She's spent these 18 years with a dad who prays to God and she would see man, my dad knows God; He answers him when he prays and so now when she's with these guys she wants to know, OK do you really know God, do you really know Him, is it a true relationship with Him."
Prayer, Chan explained, is a good measure of a person's spiritual growth because "prayer is conditional." He continued, "We see in Scripture God often hates our prayers. He says I'm not listening to that; it's a bunch of noise to me. You know, if there's doubting or selfishness or unrepentance, insincerity, it's a lack of reverence."
However, Chan said, "God wants to hear the prayers of those who love Him, know Him, are walking with Him." Additionally, Bible passages such as John 15:7 show that God  also answers the prayers of those who faithful to Him.
Chan was featured in this and three other episodes of the Ask Pastor John podcast to discuss You and Me Forever, a new book about marriage and family co-written with wife Lisa. In it, the couple encourages Christian husbands and wives to approach marriage and parenting with eternity in mind.
"The whole idea behind it is sometimes couples can get so wrapped up on things here to where they're not focused on the kingdom," Chan expresses in the trailer.
In a previous episode, Chan told podcast listeners his primary parenting goal is to ensure his six children love God before they leave home and said prayer is an essential part of that aim as well.
Outside of prayer, Chan refrained from issuing any other signs of a man's marriage readiness. "I don't want to get too much into specific actions – that can be almost religious. It's more gosh does this guy, does he really know Him, does he really love Jesus and is he truly known by Him to where that prayer life is so deep and rich."

Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/francis-chan-says-oldest-daughter-brought-a-guy-home-shares-her-weird-gauge-if-a-mans-suitable-for-marriage-132297/#lvfHRkjCiepAumcw.99

Just wanted to share this with you:
Each winter I treat myself to a new/warmer pair of boots....Now, don't get excited....they're usually around $20-$30....and they're "indoor/outdoor" shoes...meaning "Are they house shoes or outdoor shoes?" (This is not something worthy of pictures) I only get them because I like the fleece to be seriously fluffy/warm....I have a LOT of pain in my feet...even during summer evenings...This year, my "indoor/outdoor shoes" are closer to house shoes than regular shoes...but do I wear them to Chapel? You betcha! 

Jesus wants me to be present....present in His sight and in a relationship with Him...He cares not if I wear regular shoes and jeans or heels and formal robes, or if I perform a bunch of religious ceremonies, speak a certain language, or anything specific. Although He did instruct us to have communion in remembrance of Him (which we do) and pray in the way He taught us, at times, praying the Scripture, He didn't want us to put on a mask, buy expensive jewelry/clothes, etc. Out of reverence for His house and His family, I don't dress like a slob and show up at church, but I find it crucial that we consider first the appearance of our hearts before we consider our outward appearance. Study and worship should come from our hearts, not the baubles that are hanging off our ears or around our necks.

I pray that if there are those that have their hearts set on judging others for their appearance in His house, they would first judge the appearance of their own hearts and consider the ruler with which they'll be judged.

Before you ask, there was no "incident" that inspired this message. You see, I've been in church and have glanced over at someone who comes in looking like they'd had a really hard night...but praise God, they made it into His house and only He knows what they're facing. Those obstacles are not only theirs, but ours. We are to come together and encourage our sisters and brothers in Christ and help them to overcome those obstacles. We are the church!
So enjoy your pj pants, your house shoes, etc. Come to my house for fellowship in pjs....I'll be in pjs at my house. 

 You can be accountable here and I expect the same in return because we are His and we are kin by blood.
Love to you all
-Cassi

Prayer for Today

I have always been broken, until I heard You call my name.

Those who knew me then scoff at me when I speak Your name.  I know I am still unworthy.

I still fall down, but You are here to pick me up, dust me off, and encourage me to try again.

I call myself a Christian, but people stumble over me, trying to get to You.

On my best day, I am still a sinner, unworthy of the love and grace You provide me.

I have carried Your name to places that I should have never been and I have used Your name for my own gain.

I am the voice that called out from the crowd for You to be crucified.

I have betrayed You like Judas Iscariot and have been the thorn in Your crown.

I am the sword in Your side and have been for far too long.

I pray now, Father, that You can touch my heart and cleanse my thoughts.

Make me long for the things that matter to You and forget the things I’ve longed for in this world.

Teach me to be like You.

Teach me love and patience, teach me kindness and generosity, teach me compassion and forgiveness,

Teach me the way YOU would do it…

In Your Son’s precious name, Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Are you REAL?

In today's society, there are many hearts to harvest for Christ, but they tend to dwell in uncertainty.  (*Mathew 9:37) They see the most televised examples of "Christians" and decide they do not wish to be considered an extremist. They do not wish to participate in acts of hatred or discrimination, so they shy away from even admitting they believe in Christ.

When those examples, (those who are adamant they are proclaiming the gospel) steal the spotlight away from Christ's true message, the world sits in awe at how hateful Christians can be. Those examples are not Christian at all, but are twisting Scripture to mean what they would have it mean to support their own claims. This is not sharing the Good News.

As we rush to exalt ourselves, rather than Christ, we forget Luke 18:14*.  Our human selves enjoy the attention, the false prestige we feel when others see us as knowledgeable in Scripture. We are reminded in James 4:10* how are supposed to behave.

Reminding myself to be authentically available for others:

I must intentionally arrive vulnerable and remain transparent.
I must be inwardly objective.
I must not be absorbed with myself.
I must give without reward.
I must heal spiritually.
I must not measure success by whether I can jump higher or run faster, but do what He calls me to.
I must not assume, but ask "How can I bless you?"
I must explain application to Scripture, which will require diligent study on my behalf first.
I must not only seek my own personal interests, but put first the needs, concerns, and interests of others.



*Mathew 9:37 Then He *said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.
 *James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
*Luke 18:14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Not all things are as they may seem

Around November 3rd or 4th, I got a headache that I could not shake.  Having a family history of aneurysm, I had already been advised to have an MRI with contrast done before I reached 35 years of age. Because we were in Korea at the time and the difficulty I had in getting it done, I put it out of my mind.  After about three weeks of this headache, I went to my primary care physician who ordered a series of MRIs (5 standard images and 3 with contrast injected).  The scans were run on November 20th...and then we waited.  The Sunday before this last Thanksgiving, the doctor called my house to tell me they saw no aneurysm, but they'd found a tumor.  Although I was expecting family for the upcoming holiday, and we live on a farm, I was told to take it easy and advised to not lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. The horses still must be fed, the ducks and chickens still required attention, the pygmy goats could not feed themselves...I did not heed the advice I was given, but put my faith in Him who is the great healer.  I told myself from the beginning that whether He healed me on earth, or took me Home for healing, I would exalt Him above all else.  November 26th, I went in for another series of tests that would focus on the pituitary gland (where the tumor was located) and they would perhaps be able to determine the size of the tumor.  In another call, the doctor said that it is likely this is only a cyst.  I scheduled with a neurologist and waited.  When I saw the neurologist, he told me that my most recent report stated the tumor was almost 2 inches across and it was very unlikely they could tell how rapidly it was growing after only six days.  He told me to go immediately to see an neuro-ophthalmologist to determine how much pressure, if any, this tumor is putting on my optic nerves.  Then we slipped into Winter. We had more snow than I can ever recall, an ice storm, and then much, much more snow.  I was unable to get out or get scanned for quite some time.

Almost two months later, I finally got to see the neuro-ophthalmologist.  He tested my eyes and the results were not great.  Fearing I was already losing my right eye and finding a spot on my left eye, he has now referred me for further testing.  The scans they've done thus far indicate the tumor has not increased since November 26th. Also, I told the neuro that the other doctor said it is likely a cyst and his response was that they could not know for sure unless they did a biopsy.  Today, I wait for more testing, but am confident that God is much bigger than a tumor or a cyst and that He is the ultimate Healer.  I have no thing or no one to fear, as He is with me always and He is always good.